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The Rainbow Chicken Campaigning for KFC
Picture the scene, ladies and gentlemen of the progressive crowd: a sunny Saturday afternoon in Paris, Berlin, or New York. In front of the Israeli embassy, a colorful parade chants with fervor: “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!” Among them is our hero of the day: Kevin, 28, OnlyFans influencer, chest perfectly waxed, rainbow flag draped around his neck like a superhero cape, filming himself live on TikTok. Right beside him is his best friend Luna (formerly Laurent), teetering on 15 cm stiletto heels, voice still a bit husky after three surgeries, proudly waving a glittery sign that reads “Queer for Gaza.”
They’re there, looking fabulous, inclusive, and intersectional, defending an “oppressed people” with the same passion they use to denounce the “toxic culture” of white cis men. Meanwhile, in Gaza, a bearded mullah sitting on a worn-out rug watches the video on his latest Samsung phone (courtesy of Qatari humanitarian aid) and lets out a deep belly laugh: “Wallah, these kuffar are going to make our job so easy. They’re delivering themselves gift-wrapped with a rainbow bow on top. Carbon-neutral, free shipping, just how they like it.”
Let’s be brutally honest, dear rainbow friends: supporting “Free Palestine” when you’re gay or trans is exactly like a chicken doing volunteer work at KFC. Not only is she funding her own deep-frying, she’s also organizing petitions for “more respect for wings,” tweeting #JusticeForTheChickens while waiting her turn in the extra-crispy batter, and calling other chickens “queerphobic” if they dare suggest that Colonel Sanders might not be their natural ally.
The absolute peak of absurdity? These queer activists spend their days screaming about “transphobia” if a feminist simply says a woman has a uterus, yet they eagerly ally themselves with people who view homosexuality as a disease to be cured by death. In classical Islamic fiqh, the prescription is crystal clear: throw them off the top of a building. Scenic view of the sea, final scream, no parachute. In Gaza, just like in the mullahs’ Iran, gays and trans people are executed, stoned, hanged, or pushed into the void. But hey, minor technical details. The important thing is that the slogan sounds nice and looks good on Instagram.
Let’s add another thick layer of sarcasm. Imagine Kevin after the long-awaited “liberation.” Hamas (or an even more radical new regime) takes full control. No more Pride parades, no more drag queen story hours, no more “safe spaces.” Instead: Islamic virtue committees patrolling the streets. Kevin, in his tight little shorts and navel piercing, gets arrested during a raid.
“But… I supported your cause! I boycotted Israel! I shared your videos!” he whines.
The bearded fighter replies with a big smile: “Brother, Allah appreciates your effort. Now we’re going to help you up to the rooftop. It’s for your own good. From the seventh floor, you’ll finally see a free Palestine… for about three seconds.”
Luna will get special treatment: “You who have altered what Allah created, we’re going to correct you permanently.” And off she goes to the tallest building in the neighborhood.
The most hilarious part of this cosmic tragedy is the level of cognitive dissonance. These activists can cancel a biologist for saying sex chromosomes exist, but they suddenly become extremely “culturally sensitive” when it comes to a religion that advocates sharia law. “It’s their culture!” they say. Oh really? So stoning adulterous women is enriching diversity? Throwing gays off rooftops is “living together”? We’ve gone from “Love is Love” to “Love is Love… unless it’s haram, in which case it’s from the top of a building.”
This is masochism elevated to the level of performance art. It’s like a Jew campaigning for the return of the Nazis because “they just need living space.” Or a Black American advocating to bring back the Ku Klux Klan because “they also have economic problems.” We’ve reached heights of voluntary stupidity that border on artistic performance.
And the slogans! “Free Palestine, from the river to the sea.” Translation for our queer friends: “From the Jordan to the Mediterranean, not a single Jew left — and incidentally, not a single unrepentant sodomite either.” They chant this thinking they’re doing anti-colonialism, while actually supporting the most brutal Islamist colonial project of the 21st century. Gaza isn’t a concentration camp; it’s a training camp for future executioners of anyone who doesn’t pray five times a day in the right direction.
Here’s the manual for the perfect queer pro-Palestinian ally:
1. Ignore all the videos of Palestinian homosexuals fleeing to Israel to save their lives.
2. Label anyone who quotes the Quran or Hadith on the subject as an “Islamophobe.”
3. Wear a keffiyeh over your rainbow crop top.
4. When someone mentions executions, reply “That’s not representative” or “It’s because of the occupation.”
5. Mentally prepare yourself to become an accidental martyr.
The real black humor is that these people think they’re rebels and brave. In reality, they’re the turkeys of the most grotesque farce of the modern era. They defend a system that would erase them from the face of the Earth faster than you can say “intersectionality.” They’re willing to sacrifice Jews first, then women, then gays, then trans people, in the naive hope that they’ll be last on the list.
Very dark moral of the story: there are suicidal allies. And then there are pro-Hamas homosexuals and trans people. This isn’t alliance anymore — it’s ideologically assisted suicide. The chicken doesn’t support KFC out of conviction. She’s just too conditioned, too stupid, and too addicted to the virtual world to read the menu, which is written in big bold letters: “You are today’s special.”
So keep going, dear rainbow friends. Protest. Chant. Post. Boycott. One day, when you’re standing on the edge of that rooftop with a smiling bearded man behind you, you’ll get to scream one last time: “From the river to the sea…” before the wind finishes your sentence.
And somewhere, a mullah will chuckle: “They really thought we were going to accept them. Subhanallah, what a crazy era.”
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